One of my first teachers told me a story that still sticks with me.
Once upon a time in the old west, a cowboy was riding on a horse passing by a large cactus bush.
All of a sudden, he leaped from the horse into the cacti.
The razor-sharp needles tore his flesh, and his screams of pain and agony filled the valley.
Later as the sun set that day, he hobbled into the bar all bloody and torn up, sat on a stool, and asked for water. Someone at the bar saw what happened earlier and asked him "why in the hell did you do that?"
His answer was "Well... it seemed like a good idea at the time."
We all make mistakes sometimes.
We take wrong turns, procrastinate on our dreams, waste years on things that don't matter, stay in relationships that don't serve us anymore, burn down bridges we shouldn't have burnt, and make decisions that we beat ourselves up for about later.
Staying in a state of regret and self-condemnation is the most toxic thing that will keep you stuck even longer.
Have your pity party for a few minutes if you have to, cry, and release the pain, but you've got to move into self-compassion as soon as possible.
Whenever I find myself in such a place, I remember that story, smile, and take a few deep breaths.
Whatever you did or didn't do, whatever happened, it seemed like a good idea at the time, and you were doing the very best you could with who you were at that time.
No matter what's going on, how intense or difficult, have compassion for yourself, it's the key to easing the whole thing out and getting things moving smoothly.
Without self-compassion, deeper understanding and healing can't take place.
Without compassion, growth can't take place.
As long as you're being hard on yourself, the whole thing will feel like a grind.
It's not easy being human, but being easy on the human makes a big difference.
You did the best you could.
Now what else is possible?
What if you didn't make yourself wrong?
What if everything that's happening is happening for you, not against you?
Kacper
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